Monday, September 27, 2010

"The Man in the mirror" what it means to me

Someone asked me what the following line from "Man in the Mirror" by Michael Jackson means. 

Their question was "I was listening to Man in the Mirror today, and I have no idea what this means: "A summer disregard, a broken bottle top, and one man's soul". Does anyone know what this phrase means? Thanks."

 This was my reply -

I think a songs lyrics can mean many different things to different people.

I'm a huge MJ fan & I have been since 1982. "Man in the Mirror" is my all time favorite because it was that song that helped me over come my past and make a change in me instead of trying to change others.

For me -

It is pointing to lonely times.

Disregard means - To pay no attention or heed to; ignore
Summer is a fun time for kids who are out of school & living carefree. So disregarding summer would mean no rest or fun. Missing out

A broken bottle top -…
It looks sad and lonely. Broken and destroyed.

One man's soul - the above "A summer disregard, a broken bottle top" speaks of how one man's soul is feeling.

I've heard people say this song was using in their therapy for over coming drugs or alcohol.

This song changed my life. I was sexually abused from ages 9-12 , mentally abused, raped at 17 for months, a cutter, put in mental hospitals & so on. I couldn't change my past. But I could look at myself. I could take a good long look at my sadness and feeling lonely & change that. I had the power to change.

I wish I could tell Michael Jackson how this song encouraged me so many times when I felt alone.

he's an amazing man & soul.

It is still hard for me to watch his videos without wanting to cry.

I have no shame in my past. God has helped me over come many things & I wanted to share with others so they will know they too can "make that change."

Watch "Michael Jackson's Man in the Mirror"

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Homeschooling & social life

Someone on Yahoo Answeres ask about homeschooling and asked about the social life of homeschooling.

This was my answer -

I do not understand why people think that homeschooled kids will not have a social life.

1. Look at public school & private school - the kids are separated into grades so they are social mainly with kids their own age. Yes, they interact with other kids of diff. ages but mostly they are gathered with kids their own age.

2. Homeschooled kids - yes they are home with their parents most of the day for lessons, but people seem to forget the kids do go outside. They run errands with their parents, they go to church activities, they volunteer, they help care for younger siblings, they meet other homeschooled kids at co - ops or field trips. But best of all they interact with people of all ages!

I'd say homeschool kids have a better understanding of being social because they learn to interact with people of many diff. ages.

I remember well when I was a teen and dragged somewhere boring with my parents. First thing I'd ask was "Will there be any kids there my age." If not I'd groan and moan.

My kids could careless if they had to play with a toddler or talk to an elder. 

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The future of invites?

A friend online was complaining about an invite she got to a cookout. She later posted an update on the party.

I got to thinking about different rules I've heard for parties, cook outs and get togethers.  I can see the future of invites to parties getting as long as those forms you fill out at the doctors office. Or worse maybe rules like this. I made it up off top of my head. I've heard some parents & other people set crazy rules like this before a party -

Please come to our party on (time & date) RSVP by (date) or you will have to pay a fee to cover the party.

BYO food but please do not bring anything with wheat, peanuts & red dye #2 due to allergies  keep your beef separate from our veggie meat

Not alcohol allowed because it will insult Uncle Joe who is recovering. If you are coughing or sneezing please pick up a face mask on your arrival. 

Submit your music of choice but  no rap, no christian rock & no Lady GAGA as grandma & others find them insulting. John will approve all the music before it is played.

Last but not least no perfumes, no hair spray and most of all do not spray any bug spray this can set off migraines & allergy attacks.

Hope to see you soon. Please sign, initial and return by (date) Expect to be inspected at the door Look forward to seeing you!

Friday, July 2, 2010

Potty Training tips

A mom on Yahoo Answers asked for some helpful potty training tips. This mom had a 22mt old daughter and was clueless at how to start potty training.

This here is my reply -

We started VERY early with my first child and also with my middle daughter. They were around 18mts.

A good friend and a wonderful model mom suggested we let our daughter pick out some BIG GIRL panties. We got some cute Little Mermaid panties.

First thing in the morning we'd take off her diaper and put on the big girl panties.

I think that day we kept the potty in the livingroom. Since it was our first time.

Now when she peed it ofcourse ran down her leg. This was new and scary for her & I'm sure she said a cute little "Uh oh". lol I put her on the potty and explained she going pee pee.

Expect a lot of accidents the first day. Let her sit on the potty in front of the tv if you like. I know a lot of parents do that.

My biggest suggestion is don't use PULL UPS. They are like diapers and out of 3 kids I can tell you they don't work except maybe for night time training & going out of the house.

Get some cute little potty books and there are potty videos.

But the best suggestion is go right to big girl panties. Expect a lot of accidents but she will catch on.

We started at 18mts and it was a slow up and down thing. It can take up to a year. One day or a few weeks may be great and others may not.

Also we would give our kids a little special treat after sitting on the potty for awhile and going pee pee. Like an M&M or something they love.

 This is one of the many books I read about potty training.

My girls loved this book.

Kids & Tantrums

A young mom asked on Yahoo Answered how we handle tantrums in public.

Here is my reply to her question - 

The first step is to let your child know you are will not allow tantrums.

Our kids learned this at a very early age and never had one in public.

When your child has a tantrum at home just get up and walk away. No need for the fit if you are not watching them.

If your child is a young toddler pick them up and put them in their crib when they have a tantrum for a time out. About 2-3mins is long enough then walk back into the room as ask - "Are you all done?" My kids would usually nod and I'd say "We don't scream like that. It's not nice."

Most of all never give in to what they are screaming about. No means no and don't give in.

If they scream because you tell them it is bed time and it is time to start playing you can start giving warnings like "Bedtime in 5mins." True they don't know what 5mins is but they will get the idea of the count down.

Once you get tantrums under control at home they should ease up in public too.

With our first went we started the child training for tantrums we'd take our daughter to the car for a short time out. Like if she screamed because she couldn't get on the swings because all the swings were taken we'd take her to the car, sit in her in her car seat for a moment or so and tell her "No. We don't do that." or "No. No fussing!"

If they scream while in a check out line because you won't buy them candy ignore the screaming and once you get back to the car tell your child "We do not act like that. It is not nice."


homeschooling mom of 3 - we didn't put up with tantrums and our kids knew that.

We found this book very helpful.

Kids & Allowance

A 13yr old girl on Yahoo Answers was complaining about her allowance. She said she only got $10 a week and complained about all the work she had to do. She wanted to know how she could make her parents give her more allowance.

This was my reply -

Look my 13yr old would love to get a $10 allowance.

We don't do an allowance.


Kids shouldn't get an allowance for helping around the house. When you live in a home with a family you work together to keep the place clean. You shouldn't be paid for that.

Why should your parents pay you to put up the dishes? Didn't you eat off them? You should help put them back up.

Why should your parents pay you to keep your room clean? It is your room. When you move out say at 18 into a dorm or something no one will pay you clean your room then.

Why should your parents pay you for cooking? Won't you need to know how to cook when you move out? That is a gift they are giving you. I didn't know how to cook till I got married at 18. My parents never taught me or let me cook.

Why should you get paid for washing your clothes? don't you wear them and dirty them up? Did you buy ALL of your clothes? You should help care for them by putting them up and yes even help washin them.

If kids want money they should ask for extra chores to help around the house like helping clean out a closet, organize a cabinet, wash the car and so on. These are extra chores that kids normally don't do and it is a help to the family.

I think $10 a week is very nice of your parents to give you and honestly way too much. That is about $40 or $50 a month. Most parents can't afford that these days so be glad you get it.

If you ask you may lose it since you dont seem happy with it.


homeschooling mom of 3
This time the girl didn't give me the best answer but voters did. 
Search for growing kids god's way teens

What to do when your child stops napping

A mom on Yahoo Answers wanted to know what to do when her 21mt old daughter stopped napping. She said all her daughter would do is stand in her crib screaming. She wanted to know if she should try to keep forcing her daughter to nap or just give up. 

Here is my answer -

Start what is called Room Time.

A mom taught me this. I use to babysit her kids and I was impressed one day when I came to visit that her son not even 2 was sitting in his room quietly playing. She explained it was room time.

To start make sure your daughters room is child proof. Dressers and furniture is sturdy and won't tip, plugs are plugged up and so on.

Next set aside some toys she is only allowed to play with at ROOM TIME. These toys do not come up other times of the day. This makes them special.

The 1st day - Take her to her room and say "It's Room Time." Sit her down, get out the toys and if you like sit down in a far corner and watch her play alone. If she fusses just her for a bit but after a moment or two back away some. This may take a few days depending on her personality. Just let it get to the point where you can sit either at the door peeking in or in a corner of the room while she plays happily. This can last a short time only 5mins or how ever long you like. Keep it short though.

The 2nd day or as soon as day 1 is complete - This time stay at the door or near the door. If you can go to where you are just a tad out of sight or hardly peeking in. This way she won't see you but it only lasts just a moment. You are right there near her still. Again keep it short maybe if you can 10mins or so.

Day 3 - This time try to walk away like to the next room or so maybe being away for 2mins or so. Just enough so you can maybe look up and see you are gone but know you are near by. Again keep it short and quickly return.

Day 4 - If she walked around of the room on day 3 you may want to put up a baby gate. This is up to you. This just gives her the idea she is to say in her room during "Room time". If you don't do the gate and she comes out just return her to her room and say "It's Room Time. Stay in your room." This make take a day or so plus keep it short maybe 10mins or so if you can. Longer is ok.

Day 5 - At this point you should be able to be our of her sight for a bit. If she is still fussing when you walk away assure you came back as needed but praise her for being good. Like walk away and if she is quiet for 2mins or 3 come back and say "What a good girl! So quite during Room Time." plus praise for staying in her room.

Follow all this and work it up slowly so you can have your quiet time for 30mins or longer if needed and her playing quietly in her room.

I did this with all 3 of my kids. "Room Time" is important. It gives moms the peace & quiet they got during naptime. Plus kids learn to play by themselves alone.

My kids would have room time from 1hrs to somtimes 2hrs when they were older. When my oldest was 5 she'd have 2hrs of Room Time while her little brother & sister slept. Once my middle daughter quit naps which was when my oldest 5 1/2 she would join her sister for Room Time. The two of them would play alone or together during my son's nap time.

Now that my kids are older 13, 10 & 8 I have my own ROOM TIME. lol It is MOMMY'S ROOM TIME. I will have my quiet time for an hour or so before cooking dinner.

We homeschool & as a stay at home mom you need your peace & quiet to keep peace & quiet in the house.

Here is the mom's reply when she picked my answer as best answer - Thank you, brilliant. I just want you to know, i consulted a nap expert and she said the same thing, give the baby at least an hour on her own. ie: playtime in her crib or whatever w/toys. I think my daughter is a little young to hang out in her room. I will do the room time w/her in a few months!

My husband & I found this book very helpful